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7 Reasons Why You Keep Failing In Life And What You Can Do About It | Ep 19

Aug 28, 2020

Do you find yourself stuck in an endless cycle of starting something and giving up?

Do you feel like you keep failing in life?

It has nothing to do with you as a person but rather, why you give up is because you lose motivation.

It’s easy for us to lose motivation and be caught up with our worries and busyness in life, it's not your fault. No one ever told you how to sustain that motivation

Here are 7 reasons why people give up before hitting their goals and what you CAN do about it.

The transcript is available below the video.

Transcript:

I teach moms how to build their own purposeful and profitable businesses from home and sometimes, even though my students have all the knowledge, resources and support that I give to them, they seem to hit roadblocks.

It’s normal. As much as we want to reach our goals, we sometimes lose motivation. We've all been in a bad mood, lost motivation, or had a hard time staying productive.

Even though people say they fail, before they can reach their goals, I think of it as you’re just not there yet. You’re so close, but you’re not there. You have not failed.

You can’t fail if you keep going. If something doesn’t work, it’s a test. It’s not a failure. You try again.

The question becomes, how do we master our minds? How do we master motivation so that we stay productive, and do the work necessary to achieve our dreams and goals? In today’s video, you will learn tactics to master your motivation, and make your dreams happen!

When I shared this on Instagram earlier today, someone commented that discipline is more important than motivation. When it comes to reaching goals. I wholly agree with her. We do need discipline. But there’s no discipline without motivation.

If you’re not motivated to be in the best shape of your life, do you think you have the discipline to resist that fried chicken or the discipline to work out? To run 5km daily?

Motivation comes first. If we’re not motivated, we don’t take action.

The truth is: We can all lose our motivation. The question is: Do we regain it? How do we show up when it really counts? Are we aware of when motivation is lost and what do we do to get back? How do we keep our eyes on the ball?

2020 hit us hard. We all had big plans and most of our plans are in tatter. But that doesn’t mean you should lose motivation.

  1. You let your circumstances define your worth.

You may have lost your job; you may not be born with a silver spoon in your mouth. Whatever the circumstances may be, don’t make the mistake of letting them define you.

My initial plans were crushed too, but I’m more motivated than ever that what I’m offering the world right now, helping moms gain income and financial independence while being there for their children is more important than ever. That’s my motivation. I see COVID as the opportunity to serve, I can see the need out there.

It doesn’t mean I don’t lose my motivation, ever.

2. You don’t take care of yourself physically and mentally

Usually, people lose motivation or give up on their dreams and goals because they are tired. Almost all lost motivation is caused by fatigue, burnout, overwhelm, and stress, so you throw in the towels and say, I give up!

It actually has nothing to do with motivation itself. It has to do with the conditions around it that are jacking up your motivation. Fatigue—that’s why self-care is something I talked about often and people say, “I thought you talk about business, why are you sharing about skincare?”

That’s a form of self care for me. And I know you all know this being in the MomBoss community, if self care hasn’t moved up on your priority list, you’re not even in the game yet.

3. You don’t surround yourself with role models

Be careful of who you hang out with. Be deliberate of choosing how to spend time with. I’m sure you have heard the saying that “We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”

Surround yourself with who you want to become. You’re thinking, “I want to be a CEO, but the CEO doesn’t want to hang out with me.”.

I get it. I came from nothing. Had no connection, knew no one in this country. It’s all about deciding who you want to be surrounded by.

People say to cut out toxic people, but that’s not possible. It’s hard to cut out family members, friends whom we know for years. Instead, limit the time you spend with them.

If you have a friend or a spouse who’s constantly complaining, immediately stop exposure to that or let them know of its effect. Don’t blame them, but say, “You know what, I notice we”—use the language we—”I notice we’ve been really talking about the problems and the complaints about that. Let’s talk about what we’re appreciative of. Fire off five things you’re grateful for. Just help me change my mindset.”

Acknowledge it’s “we,” because all conversations are we, and then say, “Give me five things you’re thankful for. Tell me five reasons you love me. Say three things that are going well and take control of that conversation.”

Be the motivating leader in your group/social circle/family.

Do not share your dreams with them. Don’t ask for their opinion. Chances are they’re most likely going to pull you down.

Because why would you? Would you ask your someone who’s never been to say, Europe, on what they recommend you should see or eat there? Or would you ask your kid how to do something they haven’t done before? Then why would you ask someone without the experience of what you want to do, whether you should do it?

How do you surround yourself with role models? How do you hang out with them?

Make sure you are listening to motivating voices. Subscribe to positive podcasts, read books in areas where you want to level up in life, or participate in communities like our MomBosses United. If you’re not doing any of these, this is the time to up that ante.

Of course, being super motivated doesn’t mean super intense all the time. It’s tiring.

You can joke and spend time with people who make you feel good. If you have that, let me suggest to you to video call them way more often, especially through this crisis. It will change your levity; it will make you motivated.

You have to have those motivating voices, those people who are upbeat. For those who are just now engaging in personal development, go listen to those positive podcasts.

For those who are in spirituality, listen to your favorite pastor, whoever that might be, but consume into that, put that literally in your ears as a podcast or a replay of what we’re doing here. It will serve you; it will help rewire the brain and it will take over the internal voices of strife and worry and implant positivity and better mindsets.

4. You consume more than you produce.

I don’t consume a lot of social media, I don’t consume a lot of television. I listen to audiobooks, and it can be done when you’re walking home or putting kids to bed.

I also listen to podcasts from my peers in my industry. That’s really important.

5. You dream too big

A lot of people lose their motivation or give up because they lose sight of why they are doing it in the first place. I recently heard a podcast by Brad Lea, and he says it’s like going to the bathroom. You don’t stop because you know your destination. You’re just not there yet, so you keep going.

So what does it have to do with dreaming big?

It feels too far out of reach.

Break your dreams up into smaller chunks of quantifiable goals or mini-milestones and remember to celebrate every small win.

6. You don’t enjoy your journey unless it goes exactly as you planned

Remember motivation is triggered by ambition and action. These are the two triggers of motivation.

Not everyone loves the word ambition, but ambition and action are the two scientific-backed triggers of motivation. Remove these because motivation doesn’t last.

Amplify these and motivation will grow. Not my opinion, all of psychology points to this, all of philosophy for over 1,000 years. Ambition just means the desire for more.

That “more” can be more depth, more connection, more joy, more abundance, more success in any area, more peace, more harmony, more anything—people think ambition is separate than peace or harmony.

No, if you want more harmony, that’s ambition. If you want a better meditative practice, that’s an ambition for better meditation.

It’s attachment to the end result of ambition that can cause suffering. But the desire for greater or more or new, that’s okay. It’s when you are attached to how it has to go that can ruin your motivation.

7. You don’t have a daily intentional routine in which you connect with your ambitions.

What does that mean?

You better look at your goals every single day and don’t just look at them—look at them, feel them, visualize them, talk through them, think about them. I need you to obsess about your goals and your ambitions and your dreams again.

Instead of lying awake worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow, go to sleep visualising your ideal future. I promise you, it’s the best way to fall asleep. Don’t “just take it as it comes”

It may feel weird at first, but force your mind to visualize your ideal future. Your mental time towards visualizing, feeling, and self-talking about your ambitions and your goals are driving your motivation up or down.

Most people say, “Well, that’s fooling myself. It’s not realistic. Am I not setting myself up for failure?”

No, you are not, because when you visualise, you’re telling your mind, that’s what you’re striving for. You need that clarity. Even though it’s imaginary right now, it is REQUIRED.

It’s not realistic for you to achieve all your things, but if you lose touch with your idealistic future, you will lose your motivation. So that’s key for you.

If you don’t know your destination, how do you even map up your way to go there right?

 Take action, and this is a real sticking point for people right now, in this pandemic that people think, “Oh well, you know, I’ll just pause all these things and see how this goes through.”

You need to make positive progress every single day.

In the morning, I want you to write down your goals and dreams. I think about my long-term dreams and I just sit with it and visualize it, I think through it.

Let your mind stew on creating ways to achieve your dream.

You need to be visualizing more than you ever have before if you want motivation to sustain. That is one simple action everybody can do. 

 

Very often, you didn’t lose motivation, you simply didn't do something simple today that has a positive impact in the future, something that you make you feel you are in progress.

That’s why I advocate only three needle-moving things on your daily to-do list. Three things beyond self-care and self-surviving.

So the action plan, for those who have goals or my students who are in my program, and those who just signed up, get ready for our kickstart party on Sept 1, there are three things I need from you every morning - three things beyond self-care and beyond survival.

Watch 10 minutes of my training video, do 1 exercise from the worksheets, and send an email/message to your target customers.

If you get three of those done every day, it’s saying to the brain, “I’m touching ambition, I’ve got some action, I’ve got some momentum.”

And those little pieces of momentum, no matter how big a deal, momentum sparks motivation. Everything will change for you.

 

Stay motivated,

Michelle

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